Late night reading = late night thoughts

But giving to other people is what makes me feel alive. Not my car or my house. Not what I look like in the mirror. When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad, it's as close to health as I ever feel.

Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back.

― Tuesdays with Morrie

(This book has sat unfinished on my shelf since high school. All I remember being quite bored with the beginning chapters, setting it down, and then completely forgetting about it all these years. Maybe it's because the book wasn't relevant to me then, but it's definitely the book I needed to read today...and a friend and I were just discussing how funny books can come into your life when you need them the most. Fate?) 

I've been thinking about how dissatisfied I've been lately with the path I'm currently on, and this aching search my soul is on. I understand that I really don't have much to complain about. I' am blessed. But why do we tend to brush off our own problems just because we believe maybe someone else out there has it worse? We are all allowed to feel pain, and nobody should have to suffer in silence out of fear that their concerns are not “valid” enough. 

“Saying someone can't be sad because someone else may have it worse is like saying someone can't be happy because someone else may have it better.” – unknown 

Aren’t we all just trying to be happy? I feel this nag in my heart, and I know that I was built for something more…to offer the world more than what I looked like, and more than what I can accumulate. 

I know it isn't a mere coincidence that I picked up Tuesdays with Morrie, and How To Live a Goodlife were recommended to me. I know that God has called me to live for more than just myself. 

I haven’t figured it all out yet… I haven’t even begun to understand myself, or where to start or what to do. I just know that this is the beginning of my pursuit.